So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Actions speak louder than pants.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
