Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
