Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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