Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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