Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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