Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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