So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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