i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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