he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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