Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
