Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
