I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
