no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
