whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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