Who wears a wallet chain?!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize