**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
a search helicopter?!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
