PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Nicole vs. Life
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
