i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
