My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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