I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
