Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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