Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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