Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
