I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
