benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
