That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
