Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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