I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
