I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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