she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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