When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
