I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
