Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Boobs are out for the taking
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
