I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
