he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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