you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
