Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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