Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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