Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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