Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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