i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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