Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
