he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
