Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
