Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
