She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
