that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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