Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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