I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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