I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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