I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is Oprah even human
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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