did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I wear drunk well.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
